Just a thought...

Tonight I find myself looking through many of the photographs taken over the course of my life, but mainly the last year or so. I never took a second to realize how lucky and free I was. I have two of the BEST parents who have allowed me to run, live, learn, fall down, and pick myself back up; it has made me a better person. Who knew the kind of person I would be now, and I'm still wondering who I'll be tomorrow..

Remember those lovely days of kindergarten? Remember when no matter what you did, you were still cute as a button. Heart break was an unknown feeling and giggles came no matter what. The first girl you met was your best friend one minute, and the next you weren't friends because she wanted to be the mom when you played "house". The first little boy you set eyes on was your boyfriend whom you were madly in love with. Remember the days that felt like they went on forever, and time passed so slowly. The year drug on forever, and a yucky dinner was the worst thing that could happen in a days time. It seems like just yesterday life was that simple. Now 18 years later I'm thinking what happened to those days. One minute I was a lively toddler, then making my way through grade school. Finally I had gotten to high school and in the blink of an eye that was over. During those four years I couldn't wait to get up and out and I was going to do anything and everything to make it on my own. To my surprise it was not as easy as they always make it seem... College was a dream and I was lost in what to do with my life. It seemed as if I was going nowhere very fast and I couldn't stand the disappointment in myself for letting things go the way they were going.

Now I sit here in my dorm, an Airman in the United States Air Force. When did this happen? Just 2 months ago I was a wild teen out all hours of the night partying hard with nothing better to do at 5 in the morning. I now have a career, and a life. It is still hard to grasp and at times it's hard to believe that I am actually starting my own life. It feels like a dream, like I'm going to end up back with my parents and going to go back to high school or something crazy. As I look back on the years past I realize just how much fun I had- I was extremely lucky to be able to have such fun and experience so many great times! There are so many more memories on the way, and though sometimes the road is bumpy, the sky is cloudy and I'm low on gas, I know I have all I need to make it through. Every day is a new day and I cannot wait to find out what amazing things the future has in store for me!

Just a thought.
xoxo, Jess

I'm alive! Fresh out of Basic Training, woot woot!


So, I made it! I graduated 16 July 2010 and now am in Tech school until, well...forever. Basic Training was one of the hardest things I've done, but now that I graduated I look back and realize it really wasn't that hard. I had one of the BEST instructors I could have asked for, Basic wouldn't have been the same without him. I made a couple friends (and realized how much more I cannot stand stupid people...haha!). One of my new friends, Laura DiPasquale (we called her D in basic, now I call here by her actual name, Laura), is here with me at Tech School! She is in a different squadron but we still manage to hang out and meet up for lunch and what not. We get along great because she's a smart a** just like me! We clicked the first week of basic and have been buddies since!

Here is us our first week of basic folding our clothes! Gotta love rolling those socks and t-shirts, NOT! We're such dorks! I love it!









Again, Laura and I together, look how enthused we look! HA! "A Bay to B Bay", those words were usually not good. It was either we're gonna learn how to do something, or be put on our face. 9 times out of 10 it was "on your face, nope too slow!" (for those who don't know what that means, it's push-ups, flutter kicks, and squat thrusts). Our flight slogan was "crying is only gonna piss me off more" because when we would be on our face aka motivational training, people would be crying and our instructor would always say that!

Back to basic- I was the Guideon Bearer (the person who carries the flag)- I loved it! I got to be right in front for everything, and you know me, I love being front and center...only this was front and to the right (same thing right?). Looking back at the experience now, I wouldn't trade it for anything. It was hard, stressful and demanding in any and every aspect, but it was something that only 1% of the population can say that they've been through. Going into it I wish I would have prepared better, but now that i'm out I realize there's nothing that you can do to prepare yourself to be completely deattatched from everything you know. Overall, it was something i'll never forget and i'm glad I got to go through it, it's just another step in the right direction for me. I could have went the way that most teens go- college life, party party party, but instead I have decided to do all that AND serve my country :) haha, oh and get paid all at the same time- I think it's a pretty sweet deal! I feel honored to have made it this far. Most people can't even make it IN TO the AF with the strict standards they have, then of those people some can't make it past basic training or tech school (yes, I can still fail out of tech school, but i'm not making that a possibility).

19 May 2010! First chow! Boy was that an experience, I don't think I tasted my food for the first 2 weeks! Laura is the one in pink (picture on the top), who knew we'd be such good friends! The lunch lady was my favorite think about the chow hall, besides food of course ;) She always provided us with encouragement and smiles!


"I used to be a beauty queen, now I love my M16"

We got our M16 Trainer Weapons the 1st WOT (week of training) and had to use them all the way until after we came home (well back to the squadron) from BEAST (Basic Expeditionary Airman Skills Training- and that's a whole 'nother story in itself!).

BEAST: The BEAST site consists of four camps (called "zones"), named Vigilent, Sentinel, Reaper (this was the zone I was in), and Predator. Each camp consists of 10 green canvas tents used for sleeping. There are also two tents, one used for a field hospital and the other for a command post. In the center of the ring of tents is a three-story tower (where instructors keep watch so they can chew you out for doing things wrong), and a hardened building which is used as an armory and as a bomb shelter. Each zone also includes five defensive firing positions, and an entry control point (ECP). Each zone is a self-contained unit responsible for operating and defending itself. All 4 zones are in constant competition for the whole week constantly graded and at the end of the week the winner in points is awarded the BEAST EXCELLENCE streamer for their guideon. Reapers were victorious and we brought home that streamer. The flights that have that streamer are then in competition for warrior flight which is overall excellence, unfortunately no one got warrior flight.



A couple of the classes we took while at basic training were skills like self aid buddy care I, II, III & IV ranging from how to patch up a simple wound, applying a tourniquet and how to treat burns. This taught us the basic skills to help a wingman when we are in a deployed environment or just in general. We also learned CPR and how to transport victims. (top left)
Performing mock SABC on our dorm chief Shirley Layer. (top right)
Me and D waiting our turn to practice our SABC. We were pretty much attached the hip during the 8.5 weeks of basic!














O-COURSE!

One of my favorite "obstacles" of basic was the obstacle course itself! I wanted to do it again after we were done! It was 17 obstacles or something like that and you had to run to each one of them! I pretty much dominated the thing and wanted to do it again! We had to double-time (run) the entire way there and back which was about 2.5-3 miles there and the same back. We had to do this WITH our duffel bags packed with an extra pair of everything just in case you fell in the water (which I DIDN'T, because I'm awesome). The picture to the right is of Esquivel, Bowman and I before we started the course!

Rope swing! This was the second to last obstacle, the monkey bars were last! The first obstacle was the rope walk-Most of the females fell in the water at least once at the obstacle course! It took a lot of upper body strength to hold on to the rope swing and make it across the monkey bars, but I did it!


xoxo, jess

18 May 2010

Basic Training! I leave tomorrow morning at 10 am for LA. Then all will fall into place as I get ready to endure 8.5 weeks at Lackland AFB in San Antonio Texas...then I go to Keesler AFB, Biloxi Mississippi! I will have lots to write about as soon as I make it through Basic! Just wanted to provide a small update!

xoxo, Jess!

Since When....

Since when is it NOT okay to ask a simple question? Since when is it NOT okay to innocently walk across your own street and ask others to keep the noise down? Since when is it OKAY to beat a man to death for asking that very question? And since when is it OKAY to have to live in fear of these such tragedies?

Pat was beaten to death early Sunday morning (around 2 a.m.) outside of his own home here in Bakersfield, CA. He and his wife, Annette had gone out to ask neighbors if they could keep the noise down which resulted in the horrific attack. He was surrounded by a group of males and was beaten with a baseball bat, tire-iron and stabbed. Annette called 911, and had to witness her husband being beaten. When it was said and done, she tried to help him- help stop the bleeding; however, the injuries were too severe, and he did not survive.

Currently police have only made one arrest on suspicion. 19 year old Blayne Allen Clifford was booked into Kern County Jail earlier this morning (2.8.10). Hopefully more will be found and justice will be served.

These sort of things never really hit home, until they have happened to someone in your very own family. I never thought anything like this could ever happen to anyone I knew, let alone such a great guy like Patrick Matsuda. He was family, a father of four, a husband, and a friend to many. The picture above is of him and two of his daughters, Madison and Whitney. R.I.P Pat, you will be missed dearly.


http://www.bakersfieldnow.com/news/83785727.html

-j.souza OUT

DATE!?!

You read it right, I have a date. I leave for basic training May 18, 2010. My Job is Knowledge Operations Management (3D0X1). According to usmilitary.about.com under USAF enlisted jobs, Knowledge Operations Management personnel deploy, sustain, and manage data, information, and knowledge-sharing services in a fixed 'deployed' environment... I guess i'll have to wait until technical training to get a feel for what that means.

A couple other random bits of information..
1.) I am officially 19!
2.) Currently coaching 6th grade girls basketball... and might I add- we kick some serious butt!!
3.) I have every season of House (thanks to Mom & Dad)
4.) I'm a happy camper :)

-j.souza OUT

I'm in love with Skype..

It's true!! I can't get enough of it! I've been skyping (if that's even a word!) my friends in Tennessee and Cousin Patty!! Add me so we can Skype!!
Jessica Souza or my skype name is jess.souza
I just had to throw that out there...that is not the real subject of this post.

The real reason is the information I received while in my recruiters office today- and it's not good news!! Apparently the morons at MEPS messed up my application and put my availability date as Feb. 2-Feb. 2 making me available for one day and one day only!!! AND they only put down that I listed one job!! So frustrating!! That is the reason why I have heard nothing about jobs lately! My recruiter is working on getting things straightened out so we'll see what happens!

One of the guys I went to MEPS with (very good looking guy if I might add) got a job already!! He leaves in May for Basic Training. His job is 3P031- Security Forces. The other girl that I met there is still playing the waiting game just as I am. Can I please book a job and get things rollin'! I'm soooo tired of sitting around bored to death! Which reminds me, I actually have something to do starting next week. I am an after school basketball coach and that starts Monday from 3-4:30 a couple days a week. That'll get me a little bit of cash moneyyy. I'm hoping I can save as much as possible so I can make a trip to TN to visit my friends who I haven't seen in about 6 months!! We'll just have to see how that goes along with everything else! I have DEP Commander Call in the morning!! Patty- if you reeeallyy want to find 125, come to a couple of my DEP CC's! :)

-j.souza OUT.